Courage and Composure

How on Earth do any of us begin to consider the atrocity that Friday morning brought to Newtown, Connecticut? How do we consider that the grim circumstances are a situation that has been repeated in schools multiple times over the last decade? How do we consider that this time many of the victims should be of an age of innocence and unaware that this type of event happens, much less be the angels who were caught in the cross fire of these same circumstances? How do we possibly consider why this violence happens? How has this type of behavior repeated itself so often, and how do we possibly begin to combat it as a nation and as a society? We must begin to alter our culture from its current violent course, however difficult that might be. I don't know the answer to these questions, of course, but I have to trust that those in positions of power in our country will raise tough questions and demand answers. Questions possibly about the presence of weapons, as I've heard some suggest, or questions about monitoring and assisting those with mental health concerns. Questions about the presence of violence in our media, and at what age is this appropriate. Questions that are yet to be determined.

Tomorrow morning students who are the same age as those who were murdered will enter the doors of my school, and it's very likely that many of them will be aware of what's happened and be afraid. It's very likely that teachers and students across the nation will be uneasy for quite some time. The unfortunate reality is that this situation may very likely repeat itself again. So how do we as parents and teachers reassure ourselves, our children, and our students that we are doing everything in our power to keep them safe? The process of establishing lockdown and safety procedures was begun quite some time ago, and I know that this work will continue with renewed attention and energy. It must...

So as I continue through my time as a teacher, the most important thing I can do is pray. Pray for those who are grieving at this moment. Pray for protection for my school and my students, and for protection for my son when he enters school. Pray for peace and wisdom as I inevitably will need to address the concerns of my students tomorrow morning. Pray for courage and composure in case I am ever in the position that the teachers in Newtown were in. And if I do someday sacrifice myself for the safety of my students, I pray for strength and peace for my family. How grateful I am to know a faith that is real and a Savior that is in control, even in the midst of chaos and uncertainty.

The Adventures of Zip, Part 1

There's an elf in our house, and oh my gosh is he mischievous!!! I'm sure you can't possibly imagine who is behind all these little schenanigans (or all but the first). "Zip" arrived last Sunday morning and has been keeping tabs on Josiah for Santa. Can you guess what the first thing we do each morning is? Or at 3:00am when someone comes stumbling into our bedroom asking, "Did Zip come back from the North Pole yet?"

He ate the remaining Halloween candy, but not the gum balls in the cupboard!

On Wednesday at Josiah's daycare birthday party he got a mini beach ball from Miles (who he shares a birthday with). On the car ride home he told me he was worried about Zip popping it, and that we better hide it. He also told me we better not even tell Zip about the beach ball so he didn't know to look. Well, apparently Jim didn't get the memo, because when they said good night to Zip Jim told him to not pop the beach ball. Josiah immediately scolded, "Dad! You weren't supposed to tell him! Now he's gonna get it!!!" And he did! Luckily, though, he just swiped it and sat up on the curtain rod, and when Josiah was at daycare threw it back down. 

I wonder where he'll show up tomorrow morning?

Merry Christmas to Me!!!

I usually don't post about "getting stuff," but this week two things have arrived that I've been awaiting for a VERY long time and I'm just so unbelievably excited!!!

#1 --- My very own sewing machine!!! I have been secretly wanting my own machine for years...every so often I borrow my mom's to do some little project or mend something, and I've been very jealous of all the sewing my sister has done since staying home with her daughter. This fall I spontaneously began a sewing a quilt for Josiah thanks to the help of my wonderful friend and colleague Lori and her machine, and I decided it was time! Here it is!!!

Now...what should I sew first??? A book holder for the van, the minky baby blanket with my leftover quilt fabric, gifts for all my expectant friends, pillows for Josiah, floor pillows for my classroom...Pinterest here I come!!!

#2 --- Ever since I got my MacBook Pro (best computer EVER, if any of you are wondering) last winter I have been eyeing the computer bags from Ju Ju Be. For those of you who know me well you know that I have obsessions with bags in general, but especially with my Ju Ju Be diaper bag (ok, true confession...bags). Even though I love how grown up Josiah is, I secretly miss it...but it's a little ridiculous to carry a diaper bag along for a four year old little boy. Well, when I was searching for the perfect bag to haul my MacBook around in, which I just had to find, I discovered that Ju Ju Be made laptop bags. Oh happy day!!! Shortly after I discovered this, they appeared on the Steal Network (www.babysteals.com) but in the wrong pattern. I have been waiting for 11 months, but they finally reappeared on Monday. Look what was waiting for me when I arrived home after one busy week! I CANNOT wait to carry Ju Ju Be with me every day! Yessssssssssssssss! They really are that great!!!!!

So who wants to start a monthly crafty moms club!? I would love to open my house up for a Friday night / Saturday in January for anyone who would like to come over and sew, scrapbook, be crafty, digital scrapbook...kids could play in the living room and moms can set up wherever. I love to both spend time with friends and work on projects, but unfortunately I'm so stinking task oriented (and totally Type A) that unless I schedule it in I neglect both. Let me know if you'd like to join me and we'll figure out a weekend!!!

Ah bliss...

I must say there is no better way to end my day! Sitting on the couch after my sweet is asleep in my pjs with Friends reruns on in the background, getting to just sit. Sit...what's that? No interruptions, mixing productivity with pleasure trips to Pinterest...and just sitting. Have I mentioned that I'm sitting? The only thing missing is either a glass of wine or a cup of decaf coffee. Decaf is really what I want, but that's probably not a great idea at 11:40 when I really should be turning off the tv and getting into bed...oh, but it's just so hard to get off the couch when I'm sitting for the first time all day...

Oh, my sweet...

So the second round of trying to have a baby has not been easy and successful as the first time, and I am so sad that Josiah is almost 4 and without a sibling. Especially since he has been asking for a baby for almost a year. Here was our conversation tonight...heartbreaking on one hand, but a little comical on the other. Smiling through tears over this one...

Josiah: "Mom, after this day (his words for today) can we get a baby?"
Me: "No, we can't get a baby tomorrow."
Josiah: "Aw, why not?"
Me: "Because babies need to grow in mommies' tummies."
Josiah: "Is there a baby in your tummy?"
Me: "No, not right now."
Josiah: "How do babies get in your tummy?"
Me: "God puts them there. Should we pray tonight and ask God to put a baby in mommy's tummy?"
Josiah: "I want two babies! A brother and a sister! Can we ask God for that, Mom?"
Me: "Sure, we can ask God for that."
Josiah: "Ok, don't forget Mom!"

(Oh, and I forgot to mention that this conversation happened while he was doing his thing in the bathroom, and at this point I walked into the office to give him some privacy...)

Suddenly I hear..."God!" "God!!" "God!!!!" "Mom, I can't hear God talking to me!"

Which of course let to a conversation about how God can always hear us, even if we can't hear God speaking. His response to this was..."Mom, can we drive to heaven then?"

Only from the mouthes of babes...

Girl's Weekend!

So after a disastrous week and a half of Jim being gone, I managed to make it through the rest of the week and have had a glorious weekend so far! My friend Lori hosted a craft weekend, so I spent my Friday night was spent catching up with friends and attempting to start my first blurb book. Lori was working on quilts for her new baby, and I am SO inspired to start a quilt for Josiah. I have wanted to learn to quilt since 4-H in high school, and since he moved into his big boy bed I've wanted to start one. After feeling the softest minky ever and looking at her super easy pattern, I think I might be ready to take the plunge! Now I just need to find the perfect fabric...

On to today...caught up with my next door neighbor Jess, who I lived by for probably 13 years and now haven't seen in 13 years. So fun to see her!!!! Then I wandered through the Junk Market, Scheels, and the mall for a few hours. Ahhh, the joy of shopping alone...I managed to find not 1, not 2, but 3 pairs of shoes! Two of them are replacing pairs that I've worn regularly for the past 5+ years, so I don't feel bad about those...the sandals may have been a bit of a splurge though. Tonight we met up with our friends Andy and Becca and their two adorable children for a spontaneous trip to the playground at Longfellow and Happy Joes for dinner. Fall weather is just so gorgeous!!!

All fun and no school for the first weekend since I went back to work. I remember now why it's so important to balance life with fun...I could work forever on schoolwork and organizing stuff and always feel behind and overwhelmed. Taking some time for myself needs to go back on my list of important things to do!!!

In Stitches

Tuesday evening started off like any other. Jim had been working in Perham for the last week, and after a week of flying solo we needed to burn some steam. Josiah grabbed his bike, I grabbed Cooper, and we headed out for a walk/bike ride with the neighbors. Fresh air and getting to move did wonders for all of us. After a late supper we started getting ourselves ready to snuggle in bed and wind down. Being totally exhausted from having Jim working out of town for the last week and a half and following my usual routine of getting myself to bed around midnight, I decided when I got Josiah ready for bed around 8:30 that I would also hit the sack. 

I should have known what was coming. While I got myself ready for bed he bounced around my room dancing like a maniac to Elmo's ABC songs. Just as I was finishing up came the dreaded "crack," immediately followed by the telltale wail. I turned to see him picking himself up off Cooper's dog bed (next to the rail of our bed), and as I got there (a whole 10 feet away) a nice thick trail of blood ran right down his cheek. Oh lovely! We quickly headed for the bathroom, cleaned the blood, and discovered a nice 1/2" long cut above his eye. Yessss! Jim's current trip had already yielded 3 bloody noses (ask me about that one someday), and now I was pretty sure that list was going to include stitches as well. After confirming with my personal nurse (LOVE having a good friend across the street in the medical world), I threw on enough clothes to hide my pjs, chucked the ipad in my purse (aka: the greatest distraction ever invented), and headed out the door. I was not excited about this trip, and Jim of course wasn't answering his phone. First emergency room trip as a parent and I was totally running solo. Yesss, again! We checked in and sat down to wait with the other 20+ people. Fortunately we found ourselves seated next to a family with a 4-yr old boy, and Josiah quickly found a friend (thank you, Lord, for that distraction!). 

Jim called a few minutes later to tell me he had just finished working for the day (13+ hours), and since he'd worked late he was....SUPRISE! on his way home now instead of coming Wednesday. I'm pretty sure that at that moment I felt the clouds part and heaven shining down around me. Thank you Lord for arranging that, and thank you Jim for working so hard! Finally at 10:15 we were admitted into the ER, and one of the nurses applied an antiseptic to the cut to numb it and help stop the bleeding. Then we began our second phase of waiting. Here he is with the glop on his face...he looks SO old in this picture!

We counted everything in the room that we could and chatted about the million questions Josiah had about all the equipment and people around. He was so brave, even though he was clearly nervous. He even asked the physician how many stitches he was going to have. We passed away the time chatting and playing a few games on my phone, and Jim finally arrived with minutes to spare. Josiah wasn't bothered by the cloth the doctor draped over his face to shield his view, but when the first stitch went in the change was instant. We went from totally calm and relaxed to crying hysterically, even though he still managed to keep himself pretty still. Thank goodness Jim was there so that there were two of us to comfort and distract. We ended up with just 3 stitches. It was a clean, straight cut, and the doctor worked quickly. Here's the latest battle scar:

5 minutes later he was up and holding onto dad's neck to relax (Mom always gets trumped after Dad's been gone awhile). Another 5 minutes and a little of Jim's humor and he was smiling away. 

One of the nurses came to tell him that an ambulance was there, and she offered to let him go see it. He jumped on that opportunity and off they went! He came back with an even bigger grin and an adorable teddy bear wearing a yellow rain coat and hat. Apparently the ambulances get all the good toys. :) Here he is!!!

We finally made it home at 12:30, totally exhausted, but also a little giddy since we had Jim back. After getting unloaded and having a snack we all made it to bed shortly after 1:00. Wish I could have slept in with my boys...6:15 came fast this morning!!!